I forgot to mention one thing. One very important thing. On day 2 of my mobility-challenging adventure - the day I should be confined to the couch icing my elevated foot, 5 minutes on, 5 minutes off, the day my angelic neighbor took Liam for the whole day so I wouldn't have to leave said couch - on that day, our house was not yet equipped with cable TV or internet access.
Just to re-iterate: On couch. All day. No TV. No internet.
Apparently, there's only one part-time one-armed cable guy on vacation who can set up all the households who need to get wired. So he'll be here on the 12th of never between 12:01am and 11:59pm.
Oh, sure, I can read. But when I'm feeling under the weather, my brain doesn't want the New Yorker......IT WANTS ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT! Maybe a little YouTube. A Justin Bieber fix. I want to google myself and see how important I used to be.
Instead, I impress myself by doing nothing. I don't mean doing nothing productive. I mean nothing. Nothing. I lie on the couch, close my eyes........but I don't sleep. I do this for a long time. I think they call it "resting."
Later, I'm feeling sharper. I play "80's Scene It: The radical trivia game with all your favorite 80's moments!" by myself. I choose two 80's icon game pieces and put them on the game board. Who will win? The cassette tape or the old-fashioned cell phone? I take turns (with myself) answering questions about "The Facts of Life," Valley Girls, and Max Headroom. Cassette tape wins! I lamely pump my fists in the air (no more than shoulder height) and say a quiet "yay!"