24 September 2010
List Item #1: The USS Albacore
Historically, I've really enjoyed moving. Mike and I moved 11 times before Liam was born - most of that done by rolling up my futon and loading my milk crates into the back of my Mazda pickup (which had a monthly payment of $99). I liked the idea of a new place with new attractions and new things to entertain me; my first mission was never to "settle in" but to get out there and see what the place had to offer me. This is where my OCD tendency to make lists is almost unbearably strong; I pour through magazines, guidebooks and websites seeking the best restaurants, best festivals, most scenic drives - the things and places and events that give a personality to a place - and we can't move until we've crossed them all off the list!!! Each one a little accomplishment, inching us closer and closer to complete mastery of a place. To leave a place without getting through the list would be like not giving it a fair chance. As in, "How can I judge this place when I haven't even seen the world's largest ball of twine? There is fun to be had here and I'm missing it!"
So, on the day pictured above, we visited the USS Albacore, a dry-docked submarine open to tourists near the Portsmouth naval ship yards. I have no interest in submarines and the thought of going inside one (let's not even mention going underwater) makes me whimper a little. I don't why those seamen (hee hee!) don't end up cannibalizing each other. But that's what we do for love, is it not (not cannibalizing, visiting attractions that turn your kid's crank)? When Liam blames his adult fear of dogs on me, I'll make sure to mention to his therapist that I went INSIDE a submarine for him.
Lucky for me, the sub was chock full of photo ops for those who hate boring pictures..........people like me who would rather take a picture of someone else's kid crying at Disney World - the happiest place on earth!! - than take a picture of my own kid standing next to Mickey Mouse. Yawn. You'd better pull Mickey's pants down or something. Really, it's more about the funny pictures than life on a sub; there was me talking on the Emergency Phone filing my nails, me pretending to type on the typewriter, me pretending to pull a really big lever and, as seen above, me sitting on the submarine toilet. If there's a toilet out in the open, I have to have my picture taken on it. Not with it......on it. When we remodeled our bathroom and put the old toilet on the curb, I could not WAIT til it got dark enough for me to run out there, pull down my pants and sit down with a magazine. But where was the photographer? Oh yeah, he wouldn't do it. What a fun hater..........squandered opportunity.
Liam, on the other hand, thinks it's funny..........as long as we're not breaking any rules. Yes, I have been scolded by my child in the midst of rogue photo ops - "NO MOM! You're not supposed to go past that rope!!" But he was more than happy to take my picture on a submarine toilet. He's no fun hater.
One down! 978 to go! New England is nothing if not overflowing with exciting and memorable attractions. And, according to the native New Englanders, they are all the BEST! Everything else pales in comparison!
Hey, be true to your school, man.