30 August 2011
Kick Ball Change!
One of the good things about having children is that you can manipulate them into doing things that make you laugh. Things that may or may not be appropriate - and definitely way over their heads. That's why it's funny! Carrying, bearing and raising children is really hard so I think it's ok to laugh at them. It's really the very least they can do in return. Or, as a tight-ass roommate of mine used to sign her notes of complaint, "it's the very least.......".
On the day pictured above, Liam needed long underwear......but his were in the laundry. So I gave him a pair of my own black tights to wear instead.
He comes prancing out wearing nothing but his fancy black tights, his legs long and bony and his tiny buttocks (must say "butt-ox") like the crack side of a Georgia peach. He looks like a gay golem.
I look at Mike and whisper, "jazz hands."
And here's how it goes:
"Liam - can you hold your hands like this? With the fingers all outstretched? Ok - hold them at your sides like this. Now wiggle them a little bit. Yeah! Like they're sparkling! Now do this......step, kick, step, kick, step, kick, keep sparkling your fingers! Now stand there and bop your hip out to the side. Yeah.....hip, hip, hip, hip. Keep sparkling with your jazz hands!"
We end the show by teaching him to strike a pose, hold it, and breathe really hard. Keep smiling! Don't move! You have to breathe so hard that your chest heaves up and down! Now raise that jazz hand in the air and...........SPARKLE!!!