1. It takes a year to fully move into a new house.
2. Three moves equals a fire.
3. Moving all of your belongings in milk crates packed into your backseat is fun. Moving all of your belongings in a moving truck, a car transporter and a rented minivan means you have too many things. And it is not fun. It probably means you're leaving a place in which you have been comfortably ensconced for a prolonged period of time. And because you're so comfortable, you've probably gotten lazy about purging. It also means you have children. Moving with children will be the topic of my first book/novel/independent film.
After 7 months in our new house, I recently spent the day - my entire day - unpacking boxes. Can you effing believe it? Can't I be done with this already? Boxes that were shoved into closets and forgotten. Boxes that now acted as shelving in our garage. Boxes that held very important things that I needed yesterday...........and who knows which box is the magic box that contains the needed thing? Which is why I spent the entire day unpacking boxes. Every time I opened a box that didn't contain the needed thing I would utter some form of "Christ on a bike!" and paw through the garbage masquerading as my stuff.
I found things that never should have been packed. Things that were so garbage-like that they didn't even make it into the throw/sell/donate lineup. But every once in a while one of articles of detritus would shake me; it was like a window into our past. At 4041, this thing was garbage - but here, post 4041, in a new home all the way across the country, this thing is a souvenir from another era.
In one box, I found a note scribbled on a the back of a used-up sheet of Avery mailing labels that read:
"Liam is watching "Space Chimps" for 2 hours. If he comes into your office a single time, he will not get the treat I bring home for him. I will eat it."
I wonder where I had to go? What was so urgent that it would make me leave my child in the care of "Space Chimps?" And what super secret batphone meeting was Mike involved in that made coming into his office "a single time" such a heinous crime? But most importantly, what treat did I bring home?
(and did I eat it?)