You need to know how it turned out, don't you? I owe you that much. I can't just complain and launch a campaign and then leave you hanging. You've probably been losing sleep over this.
First of all, it’s already been established that this is the greatest Halloween costume ever worn by any child at any time in history. I know this because I kept looking at him and saying out loud, "This is the best costume ever worn by any child at any time in history." The only way he could do better is by re-using the wig next year and going as Rick James. You should’ve seen how the curls bounced as he ran up driveways; add some glitter and a guitar and it would be SUPERFREAK SUPERFREAK SUPERFREAKY…….NOW (or is it yow?). Once we got the perfect wig and the perfect mustache, everything else seemed to fall into place. Although he looked worried when he put on the boots (my boots) and said “Are these high heels?”
And I quickly said, “No! They’re WEDGES.”
My due diligence in scoping out a more trick-or-treat-friendly neighborhood was working great until……….(dun dun DUN)……the great Halloween “stormlet” of 2011. The night before trick-or-treating (did I mention that our town doesn’t trick-or-treat on Halloween? For no apparent reason? No matter how many people I ask, no one seems to know why? And then they do nothing on Halloween. Like, seriously nothing. I will always have trouble with this.)….ahem….. the sky opened up and dumped a full ¾ of an inch of snow on our heads. Our yard was almost completely covered with snow, with only a few patches of grass showing through every few feet. It took almost the entire day to melt.
This super embarrassing excuse for a snow storm also managed to knock out our power…………right in the middle of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Because of my previous experience with power outages, I swore a few times and then sat patiently on the couch waiting for Mary to return. I even kept looking at the screen, just in case.
But I guess that’s not how it works here.
Instead, when your power goes out, you’re supposed to empty your fridge into a cooler with ice and go to your cousin’s house for a week or two until power is restored. So that’s what we did. Our cousins being the friendly front desk staff at the Hilton Garden Inn.
But what to do about trick-or-treating?????? Would anyone even be home? Or would they all be somewhere warm with lights and hot showers? What about the universal sign for “we’re home and have candy”? Or the universal sign for “we hate kids! And candy!”? With no front porch lights, we can't tell the difference!
My dark, power-less neighborhood was beyond deathly quiet. Even quieter than the usual quiet (except, of course, for the sound of the neighbor’s generator mocking me). And even my campaign to make alternate plans with alternate people was in jeopardy because the power outage had hit virtually all of New England. But after a flurry of back and forth texts in all caps saying “WHAT SHOULD WE DO????” and “SHOULD WE SCRAP IT???” and “SCRAP TRICK-OR-TREATING????" and "OUR KIDS WILL NEVER FORGIVE US!” and “THIS BLOWS!”, the group of alternative-seekers decided to go for it. We took a chance and drove to the alternahood. And what we found there was a moderate number of kids (better than minimal!) many of whom were classmates and, more importantly, we found people who were HOME! People who were committed to trick-or-treating! They wore mittens in the house and waited by candlelight and even took pictures of Rick James (I mean Inigo) and his friend who was vaguely costumed as a third grader with a knife.
Oh thank goodness.
So I’ll give this Halloween a solid B. That’s a respectable grade. It’s not Halloween Hall-of-Fame-worthy but my kid was happy and didn’t ask to go home and even begged to go one more block……….and I was like, “Dude, it’s a cul-de-sac.” But it made me smile nonetheless.
Thank you, alternahood trick-or-treat die hards; you have no idea how important this was.