So I’m watching the Odd Couple and it goes to commercial break. But it’s no commercial break…..it’s a Time Life infomercial for a cd compilation called “Romancing the 70’s.” Little do I know that this will go on for 20 minutes and the Odd Couple isn’t coming back. But they hook me. Like HOOK me. All 20 minutes hook me.
And I sing every single song………..every word to every song in all 20 minutes of that infomercial. I sing along with England Dan and John Ford Coley for 8 seconds and then it switches to Olivia Newton John and I sing her 8 seconds and then it switches to Glenn Campbell and I sing his 8 seconds. I don’t miss a beat. And then Anne Murray. I’m really impressing myself. Even “Angie Baby” by Helen Reddy. I got all the words to Angie Baby! Who even knows that song? I am smokin’! Ok, I admit, I stumbled over “Alone Again (Naturally)” by Gilbert O’Sullivan but that was the only one. Can any of you sing that song right now? I’m giving myself a break on that one. And when Chuck Mangione comes on playing his flugel horn and there are no lyrics, I just hum because I’m on a roll and I don’t want to ruin my streak.
And as I sing every word of all 8 seconds of every song, I think “this is the song that my babysitter liked” or “this was on the radio when I got dropped off for rollerskating” or “I heard this song on my transistor radio sitting on a blanket in the back yard” or “I heard this song shopping in the downtown Dayton’s” or “My mom used to play this on the piano” or “I wonder if Crystal Gayle has cut her hair yet?”
And Nicollette Larson only had one hit. And then she died. That’s so sad.
“Nights in White Satin” is just too melodramatic for me.
How AWESOME is it to hear the theme from Ice Castles again? “Through the EYES of Love;” get it? She’s blind! She can’t see! But she’s going to skate anyway! The crowd goes wild!
And what was Kiki Dee wearing in that video with Elton John? It looks like overalls made out of pink denim handkerchiefs.
“The Nights That the Lights Went Out in Georgia” cracks me up because it’s by Vickie Lawrence and my friend, Kristin (another Kristin), thinks that Vickie is Carol Burnett’s sister. I don’t know why she thinks this. And I think it’s funny.
David Soul of Starsky and Hutch fame was the picture of sincerity when he sang “Don’t Give Up on Us Baby” but my friend Martha told me that he beat his wife which makes this song sickening. Like “I only did it because I love you so much” and “I promise I’ll never do it again because I love you so much.” Suck it, Hutch.
Please tell me that somebody saw the made for TV movie starring Rex Smith and that girl from the Abe Vigoda show! The movie was called “Sooner or Later” (the Abe Vigoda show was called “Fish.”). This made for TV movie was very risqué for us kids because it featured t-e-e-n-a-g-e-r-s having s-e-x. I was so surprised when my brother bought the 45 of the made for TV movie’s featured ballad, “You Take My Breath Away,” by soon-to-be-sex-symbol Rex Smith. Because it was a mushy love song. Coincidentally, I just saw a flyer for a production of “The Sound of Music” at the Ogunquit Playhouse down the road from us starring, yes, you guessed it…..Rex Smith.
This summer, I’m at a lobster shack and Lou Rawls is on the radio singing “You’ll never find, another love like mine…..” And the guy at the next table is so happy to hear this song. And he’s singing along but he can’t remember who it is and he can’t remember the title. “WHAT IS THE TITLE TO THIS GREAT SONG!” And he keeps singing the same words, “you’ll never find, another love like mine…..” And I’m thinking, dude, listen to the words coming out of your mouth. Every time you open your mouth, you say the title of this song. But he’s just so frustrated…..what is this song called?! He eventually calls the waitress over and she’s like 19 so she’s never heard the song before but she’ll go look at the radio and see if the song title is in the display panel of the radio. But oh! She missed it! Now we’ll never know what that song is called!
I learned about the definition of suicide from “Seasons in the Sun.” One of the big kids in the neighborhood told me it was about suicide – but I didn’t know what that was. So I asked my mom while she was in the tub (not actually relevant) and that totally took the wind out of my sails. Now it felt inappropriate to sing “We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun, but the cops took their guns and they shot us in the buns.”
“Daniel my brother, you are older than me……..” sings Elton John – and I see everyone in my 7th grade general music class and we’re taking our “Rhythm Skills” test on a bongo drum. The music teacher gives the bongo to a person in the front row, then she puts the needle down on “Daniel”. The student in the first row pounds out the rhythm on the bongo with this nonchalant I-don’t-care-about-anything-because-I’m-in-7th-grade look on her face and then passes it to the person in the desk behind her. And we do this - pound the rhythm, pass the bongo - until we get through the whole class. I think she had to restart “Daniel” a couple of times. And I was sort of embarrassed for the teacher……because I knew that she thought “Daniel” was a current song.
“Tie a Yellow Ribbon” used to make me teary because I just felt so badly for that guy getting out of prison and coming home on the bus thinking he wouldn’t have a girlfriend to come home to – he was sure there would be no yellow ribbons. But then he looks out the bus window and sees a HUNDRED yellow ribbons around the old oak tree! I just got goosebumps. That criminal must have been so happy.
But, if you're wondering, I didn’t order it. I swear.