04 January 2012
A 2011 Review of Things Liam Said
I don't like Stevie Nicks. He sounds like a girl.
What is the tiniest tsunami you've ever heard of?
Which team is the most trustworthy?
If you could have any semiaquatic animal, what would it be?
LIAM: Have you ever swallowed a fly?
LIAM: Has Neil Armstrong?
LIAM: Who's playing? Hey is that the Minnesota beavers?
DAD: What are the Minnesota beavers?
LIAM: The football team.
DAD: Why do you think they're the beavers?
LIAM: There's a beaver on that water tower. You know, with the big teeth?
LIAM: So Stevie Nicks is a girl?
LIAM: But Stevie Wonder is a boy.
What's the hardest rock song you've ever heard?
What's the hottest thing you've ever eaten?
If I had Lyme disease, would you let me stay home from school?
What would you do if you were duplicated?
Have you hit your sprout yet? It's when you get more popular.
Why did they put a nail in God's finger again?
Why do bosses smoke cigars?
I didn't know they killed Jesus in Denmark!
HAIR STYLIST: How would you like your hair?
LIAM: Can I get blonde streaks sprayed in front?
LIAM: There are two things you need to be girlfriend and boyfriend. First they need to be nice to you. And then you need to like the way they look.
MOM: Right. And there are lots of different kinds of beauty. I like tall, skinny guys with red hair.
LIAM: Except his hair died out and he's less skinny.
If you were on a ship and you were married and you died, would your ring disintegrate like your body?
I hope I have this haircut tomorrow.
What would happen if you focused so hard on an upside down c that it became a right side up c? Is that possible?
Tell me something about someone. (must've been desperate)
What is the world's most high tech country?
What is the biggest wave you've ever seen?
What is the sharpest thing you've ever seen that was not a knife?
What is the heaviest thing you've ever lifted?
LIAM: Are we democrats or republicans?
MOM: I don't like to generalize but we generally vote for Democrats.
LIAM: So we're the ones who believe in God, right?
LIAM: Mom, are you going to surf camp?
MOM: I want to. I'll probably do it after you go back to school.
LIAM: You should take your wedding ring off.
LIAM: So they don't know you're married.
MOM: Why shouldn't they know I'm married?
LIAM: Because then they'll let you do more stuff.
What would happen if you drained the sea?
How did the first wave ever created start in the ocean?
What's the biggest thing you've ever seen? (must've been tired - or out of questions)
Is there anything bad about a flea?
If you faint from having a fly stuck in your throat, would the fly just fly out?
How many times has Neil Armstrong won the Tour de France?
*Note: As you can see, maturity hasn't quelled Liam's need to ask questions, generally from the backseat and almost always completely out of context. I wish I could say I responded to all of these things with the confidence of a scholar (is there such a thing as a Scholar of Obscure, Unrelated Facts?) but since I was usually in the midst of a left hand turn in heavy traffic, my responses were more in the category of "What the duck, Liam?" I don't see this ending any time soon so.....stay tuned for the 2012 edition of "Things That Liam Said!"