On the Friday before Mother's Day, Liam got in the car after school and said, "I made you a Mother's Day present."
"Really?! That's so sweet! Don't tell me what it is!"
"Yeah, but I forgot it in school."
"What?! That's not ok! Why are you so nonchalant?! Go back inside and get it!"
Despite his protests, I pushed his tiny ass out of the car and made him go back inside because someone has to teach boys how to do Mother's Day. I am not one of those people who thinks made-up holidays created to sell cards should be ignored. I want presents, dammit. I'm your mom and you owe me presents.
When we got to his classroom, his project was gone. "I think Mason took it," he said. "I'll just take his. We made the same thing." I try to explain why this is wrong - on so many levels. And he keeps saying "But we made the same thing." Which eventually makes me laugh and think that my Mother's Day present is the opportunity to tell this story to his future wife and mother of his future children.
And then he turns on a dime...........and Mother's Day morning is like CHRISTMAS complete with Liam waking up when it's still dark outside and asking if I'm ready for my breakfast in bed. He brings me his idea of a dream breakfast: a squishy donut as big as my head covered in chocolate frosting and filled with twinkie cream. He sits on the bed so he can watch me eat it; there would be no "Oooh, I'm going to save this for later!" So I dig in like I'm a contestant on Fear Factor. But I can't do the last bite as I feel my eyes starting to roll back in my head.
I have this thing where I can only open one eye if I'm not done sleeping. I'm totally serious. It's not like my eyes need to get used to the light and it's not that one eye is crusty with sleep - it's that one eye just says "Hell no!" But despite the fact that I only have one eye open, as soon as I declare the giant twinkie donut portion of the celebration complete, Liam grabs my hand and pulls me downstairs because now it's present time!
The highlights were a Leif Garrett record and a Wonder Woman wallet. The record was actually UNOPENED, as in the little girl who received this as a birthday present in 1977 was most certainly an Andy Gibb fan, and it also included a poster for my wall. I've included a picture for your viewing pleasure:
Then Monday comes, the day after Mother's Day, and as I quickly paw through Liam's backpack before the bus comes, looking for spoiled lunchbox items, I find a handmade Mother's Day card. What the what?! First I get an almost forgotten present made by some kid named Mason and now I find a personal memento crinkled at the bottom of the backpack? Is it just about Wonder Woman and donuts for you?
When I ask him about it I'm like "Hey! You're doing it wrong!" and he's like "Oh yeah. Um....Ta da!"
It's a fill-in-the-blank-why-I-love-my-mom card. Some of it is clearly made up because he couldn't think of a good answer and some of it is really personal and sweet. And some of it reveals his vision of what I do when he's not around.
Top 10 Reasons Why.......I Love My Mom!
10. I love my Mom because she reads me.......Harry Potter.
9. I love my Mom because she helps me........do dishes.
8. I love my Mom when she makes me laugh by......tikeling me.
7. I love my Mom because she taught me how to........do my e.
6. I love to hear my Mom sing.......Day Drem Belever.
5. I love my Mom because she finds time to........read magazens.
4. I know my Mom cares because she.......(blank. Seriously? How about "never makes me clean up my own vomit?")
3. I know my Mom is smart because she.......taght me eights.
2. I love my Mom because she works so hard at......going on the internet.
1. I love my Mom because she is THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD!
First I make sure this isn't about Mason's mom. And then I sing a little Day Drem Belever and post it in a place of honor. And perhaps tonight we'll have a discussion about my internet use.
Happy Mother's Day.......